IN THIS ISSUE
6-01-09:

Pub Crawl Recap
Caddyshack Recap
Blacklight Party!
That Guy / That Girl


Pub Crawl Recap

Spring Pub Crawl was unforgettable! Wait, that was a complete lie. Unfortunately, amazing drink deals combined with Ski Club’s downtown domination resulted in total obliteration of all memory retention. Witnesses report that the memory black hole and complete violation of all social norms developed somewhere between Frog n Peach and Bulls. Was that at the Library??? Anywho, two things are for certain: We nearly brought downtown to near collapse in epic fashion, and SLO county medical facilities were quickly cleaned out of all available liver transplants Thursday morning. Any and all persons with information about my driver’s license (and life savings) are urged to contact sean@cpsconline.com immediately.

Caddyshack Recap

What the hell didn't happen at Caddyshack??

In order to get a true feeling for what happened at the most twisted golf course on earth, imagine a game of golf with beer bongs instead of clubs, shots instead of golf balls, and golf carts painted with zebra stripes. Throw in a casual game of slaughter/egg/drown the gopher and you'll begin to develop a hazy idea of what went down on Saturday. Even a surprise double guest appearance by the San Luis Obispo Police Department couldn't keep us down as we suckled the teat of the last keg and surfed air mattresses down the 60' slip 'n' slide! When all was said and done, $400 of booze had been drunk, 50 Ski Clubbers were drunk, 2 officers of the law were angry, and 1 park ranger was crying about the endless trail of golf cart tracks in his grass. Great work, champs.


Blacklight Party

Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to write 2008/2009 into the history books. To prepare for the 09 Summer of love, school year responsibility must be thrown to the wayside.  Its memories, however, deserve the toast of a lifetime. From the champagne Steamboat pow to the Shasta orgy, this year’s countless legendary moments were only possible with the participation of our Ski Club faithful. Now, it’s time to say thanks to our awesome members for an AMAZING year with the ultimate 2008-2009 top off…

Triple wash the bodily fluids from your wardrobes people, because Ski Club’s BLACKLIGHT BLOWOUT is THIS FRIDAY JUNE 5! What better way to lower inhibitions for summer than a shitfest lit only with blacklight, glowy thingies, and Max’s seminal stains? Because this party is just so baller, we WILL be having signups on Wednesday night at 9PM, and the guest list will be STRICTLY ENFORCED. No jokes here. I bought mace and a pink security guard outfit, so I will be taking my job seriously. So don't be a sandy vagina and miss out!

So again, SIGN UPS will be up on the website at 9 PM Wednesday!! This party does fill up, and fast.


That Guy / That Girl

This week's "That Guy" is given with the utmost sense of dishonor and shame to Douchie Douche McDouchebaggerson for getting caught red handed committing the ultimate capital offense in Pub Crawl Law.

After two near-death experiences on his drunken stumble from The Library to Bull's Tavern, Mr. McDouchebaggerson was ready for another drink. Upon reaching the bar, Douchebaggerson opened his mouth to yell his order to the bartender; but instead of an inaudible slur of words pouring out of his mouth, a seemingly endless stream of vomit exploded all over the fine oak bar and hot bartender. After kicking his sorry ass out of Bull's, we were told that Ski Club would have to leave. Luckily, our Sexretary saved the night in a rare act of heroism by bribing the bartender with some great cunnilingus.